Create Space for You

Returning from the colorful, warm, and cozy embrace of family in India to the cold, windy, and dim West, I’m left with a familiar hollowness. It always makes me wonder—why do we sacrifice time with family, with loved ones? And each time, the same quiet answer eventually emerges from within: that this hollowness creates space for me—to become, to paint my own colors, carved out of sorrows, sacrifices, and compromises.

Carrying on with my day job in this war-ridden world

They say 'fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.' I want to confess that I have been fooled twice, and the feeling of shame is hitting me hard. How so, you'd ask?

Let me take you back 4 years in time when Covid had just hit us. The ambiguous nature of this new virus had instilled fear amongst most of humanity. While most of us were battling life-threatening thoughts, there was a small fraction of solution-oriented humans who actually saw an opportunity for digitization in different sectors - gaming, healthcare, etc., and met with groundbreaking success.

Fast forward to 2024, we are again facing a crisis. While some parts of the world continue or enter into war situations, the other half faces an economic crisis. The news of layoffs has been constant. In these circumstances, I notice my mind defaulting back to the 'fight or flight' response, interfering with day-to-day life and priorities. While I don't in any way intend to suggest we should turn a blind eye to the world and carry on with our lives, what I intend to say is that it is an opportunity to become solution-oriented, to identify problems and solve them instead of giving in to a state of fear or turning away from it.

It is what we do with the things that are in our control that matters.

Stretch and Spawn

What happens when you suddenly come to face the bounds of your capabilities? On one hand, you may choose the path of honesty and accept your limitations, which may present themselves as learning opportunities. Alternatively, you may choose the path of hurt and punish yourself with all the negative emotions that follow. These moments are good for stepping back to reflect and make choices, and these will be the principles that govern your life until you reach the next set of bounds.

PS: After a long time, I made a chapati that was almost circular, giving me hope that I could eventually achieve the perfect shape for a chapati. Why did this not happen sooner? I wonder as I reflect on the learnings I have accumulated over the past decade. It appears that I may not have been "listening" when the instructions were presented. I was deaf even though I had auditory senses. Funny!

Balancing Ambition, Creativity, and Growth: My Hectic Weekends

Last weekend was a whirlwind for me. Balancing my second master's program, a full-time job, and a life coaching course, my weekends are often packed. On top of all that, I receive social invitations, making it difficult to decline, which doesn't make things any less hectic. Additionally, I'm actively job hunting and intend to dedicate my weekends to this pursuit, something I've been struggling to prioritize. To add to the mix, I've embarked on a creative project with my partner, which I find exciting and consequently allocate more of my time to.

So, my weekends serve as a reflection of my ambition, creativity, and personal growth. However, they come at a cost. Mondays often weigh heavily on me because I haven't had time to rest or celebrate; I simply jump right back into everything. I'm not complaining, just taking a moment to reflect and be honest.

It's not that I haven't carved out some personal time. I've been taking up skating, honing my skills on the piano, and working on self-improvement. But in all this pursuit of "betterment," I may have overlooked the importance of pausing, celebrating, and finding calm.

PS: Being a creator has been a transformative journey, leading to several breakthroughs. The beautiful thing about my life coach, Sarita Walsh, is that she helps us imagine a future where we feel fulfilled and happy, and helps us be that and commit to that in the present moment. I am grateful to crossing paths with her in this life. 

Breathe

Once in a while, we have to remind ourselves to breathe. Ofc! Breathing comes naturally to us, but is that enough? Sometimes we have to take a deep breath to declutter the fog of disorganized thoughts and listen (closely) to how we are talking to ourselves. Are we over-critiquing, undermining, or overconfident? Take a second to reflect if that is how we want to be talking to ourselves. Our self-image reflects how we perceive ourselves and can be shaped by how we speak and interact with ourselves. 

So breathe and listen to your inner self! Maybe you'll learn something new about yourself; it doesn't matter if you like or dislike what you heard; what's important is that you listened and cared for yourself! 

Feel stuck? Let the momentum get you going!

When stuck, getting on a bus or train can help get your gears moving! It puts you in the driver's seat because it requires you to define your outing goal, decide the best route, execute it, and finally find a way back home! This is one of the ways to start feeling in control and get back on the track ;)

Move, Shake it, Get Moving Baby!

A vicious circle - The gender equation

Some males from Indian cultural backgrounds (patriarchal society) have a high set of expectations from female friends as compared to male friends, which creates a vicious circle of unmet expectations leading to gender bias in friendships giving a lower competitive advantage to females.

If you are a female and you never seem to understand why your male friend suddenly starts showing arrogance, then it might be because you don't fit in their ideal female persona devised by society. So, don't worry! Maybe you can help them understand their implicit behavior or just move on with your life, depending on your likeness to maintain that friendship. 

(some expectations include but not limited to caring, nurturing, tidy, gullible) 

Note: This is limited to exposure to experiences with men of certain demographics.